before you have sex with me you have to earn it
take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
(Source: angwomon, via tinylittlemiss)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
(via zackisontumblr)
(Source: fuckyeahihaveagazebo, via tinylittlemiss)
So cute
(Source: goleyakh, via hitthewhores)
